Noah Farberman: The Strange Fed To The Opposites (Writing Prompt #3)

You asked me for the opposite. But you had yet to have ordered. So I thought short and quick. You asked that I be snappy, the last time, and asked that I never forget a command three weeks earlier. I brought out wet bread, soaked in your usual wine, pinot in the noir. And a glass of olive oil, I made sure not to tell you which was which but I think you knew. When the time came for soup I grabbed the empty bowl from the next nearest table and poured the tiny bits of remains directly into your slightly ajar mouth, most of it sticking to your long and well-kempt beard. When the backup waiter, for when times get busy like noon or dinner, tried to drop off your escargot I made sure that he dropped them off with gusto and wit, I fed him lines through a secret mic while struggling to also take the order of a nearby Duke and Duchess, they came fully dressed and would leave the same. Soon enough the dessert was served; the chef’s special: Cream of the Berry on a Fou Fou Tar Tar, but for you it was pre-heated. You didn’t want to pay the check, not yet, there was some business you had to attend to. You reprimanded me for being too prompt, I explained that I was acting snappily as per your discretion and your friend, across from you at the table, explained the difference to me. You asked me instead for the opposite of a cheque so I brought you the exact amount owed to me and even a tip for my time and you pocketed the money. There was still a fire next door and the owner was beginning to consider the prospect of picking up the restaurant and moving it five more feet over to the right when the bell rang signifying one hour, a special time in the restaurant business. I stood on the nearest table, not yours, and, along with my cohorts, sang the one hour song. “It’s been one hour since you’ve arrived. Now please won’t you please get out of our lives.” I then made a point to step down off the table. You asked me not to flip your table over but I refused, seeing as the policy “always follow policies” is above “the customer is your commander”, and flipped your table. It landed on you, something that has never happened before just like you had never sat at the marble table before just like how the restaurant never had marble tables before yesterday. You were not there to listen as a coworker explained the concept of death to me. I look forward to seeing you next week. The Chef’s Special is going to be an open window full of Bird Pies and Fresh Scotch Aged Two Hours. You can order whatever you want and it is on you.